the one who will listen to my heart....

i dont understand why father can be so supportive this time. i mean, worth meh?!
sometimes i felt like he's being too strict to me on certains things but at the same time giving me too much freedom on certain things too. i asked myself, whats the purpose for doing all these? what do you want from me? everything you say, do u mean it or? Are you tryin to teach me in a way that u think its best to me? Or you want me to find it out and tell you ah...i found it?!
watever i do, i ll get a lot of comments! and advises. Yesterday, i told him how i feel. i told him i dont like that kind of feeling...asking someone to do something=i donohowtosay! i told him hw much i dont like tat feeling. he said nothing much, just says, next time u ll face more feelings tat you dont want to. tat time, i realy feel like cry out alr...... its so horrible! how long can i endure i ask myself again? i am not doin bad things also, i am just doin what i shld do and help them, not killing them or lead them to a dead road. success or fail, it needs to depends on themself alr...not my business! if i can do it, then why not you? Have u ever think tat its ur own problem? just dont give urself so much excuses and put the blame on other people. it wont help.....
hey guess wat? some of my frens asked the same question lately...
"myee, r u havin financial problem lately?" "you need money?"
lols... yeah, i want money but i dont need money coz my parents will give me. AND i am not having any finnncial prob!
my frens, not very close lah...seein me so bs lately since i start workin and study for exam...its not weird even if they ask.. AGAIN, i ask myself, why do i work?! why not i just stop workin and just enjoy my life! why give myself so much work and limited time!? scare next time no job meh.....sighzz......or maybe i scare no chance to work after i graduate from uni....lolss..sigh..... why my mind have so many "whys" and keep asking myself why this and that..too many questions alr... but its a good thing...to prove my brain is not rusting but functioning well like a normal human being..
another thing, my heart is too fragile and easily hurt... any cure ma??
Father sponsor me to go for a trip next year, most probably taiwan to visit jiayu! butbut...cny.....i prefer to spend my cny with familes and frens.....dun think its the right time to be in other country. stil can be considered...

i dont know how to care for someone...eveyrone i know :(